Wednesday, 2 July 2008

So I was on the phone with God this morning discussing foreign policy when something he said really ground my gears. We were on the subject of potential genocide in Zimbabwe when he told me about his history:

2 Kings 2:23-24 : 42 children are killed for calling a prophet "baldy", by two she-bears.
1 Samuel 6:19 : 50 070 (or 70) people are killed for looking in (or "at") the Ark of the Covenant.
1 Kings 20:30 : God makes a wall fall on and kill 27 000 of an army retreating from some Israelites.
Numbers 16:16-49 : Death to all those who complain (14 950 of them altogether).
2 Samuel 6:6-11 : God kills someone for accidentally touching the Ark of the Covenant.

Anyone notice these?


Anonymous said...

"42 children are killed for calling a prophet "baldy", by two she-bears."

I saw a poster somewhere that had a picture of two kids with a bear behind them and it said "Don't F*ck with god kids, or bears will eat you". I wonder why I never learned this story in sunday school. Man if only more christians new what was in their own bible.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the flood. That killed almost every person on the planet.

Anonymous said...

Glad you pulled these all together, because these little gems have always puzzled and scared the hell out of me. 'Course now, I don't really give a shit. You expect me to believe in a deity who would do these kinds of things or allow them to occur without so much as a sigh? If anything good came out of these verses, it did keep me from being a real whiny bitch. I know what God does to complainers!